Well, it has been almost a week since my Intuitive healing session. And, what a week it has been! I have been on an emotional rollercoaster the entire time. I have been letting go of “issues from my childhood”. I have done a lot of deep searching, reading, letting go and crying. Then, of course, anger comes along. But, I was able to let go of that one right away, because anger has never sat well with me anyway.

I realized, after starting to read a book called “Radical Forgiveness”, that many times things are not as they appear. So, I figured out that as a pre-teen/teen I might have had a little innocent crush on my step dad. He was good-looking, charming, funny….and my step dad. Now, upon this realization, the first thing to appear to me was “uh…gross!”. but, once I got past that aspect of it, I realized it kind of made sense. He was the main man in my life, but wasn’t REALLY my father. Well, of course I was “let down” since nothing would ever happen (in fact, he never even knew). But, the young mind has a strange way of dealing with things like that. So, to me, the reasoning could have been rejection, I wasn’t good enough, etc…I really don’t know what reasoning my little imagination gave. I just knew it was rejection.

So, for the next 15 years, I would always form crushes on men I couldn’t have. And that would always lead to the “See, I am not good enough” deep feelings, even though it never had anything to do with “me”. Most of the time, it was the current situation, or age, or sexual preference, or marital status. But, I would always take it personal. I am pretty sure that started my weight gain over the years, as well. Oh, the weight was always another wonderful “reason” I would give myself. Then, I would eat out of depression. Hmmmm…..viscious cycle, anyone? Well, today is the day I BREAK THAT CYCLE. (My husband Chris has helped me start to break this cycle, by loving me for me, no matter what. I sooo love him for that!)

This last week I have been working on letting go of those inadequate, low-self esteem issues that self-made “rejection” has caused. Let me tell you, it is not easy. All week, the littlest things have made me cry.  Like, break-down cry, in front of people I barely know. embarrassing….. Luckily, they are all very cool and understanding people, especially once I mention I did an intuitive healing session this week. To them, it all makes sense. I even got  a free Reiki session from one of my new suite mates. So sweet!

This coming week is a week of big change. I am moving my office of 7 years, and  I am getting my new bridge put in, as well. Those are both big GOOD changes, but changes, none-the-less. I try to look towards September, when all of this will be done. Plus, September is my favorite month. So, it helps.

So, every day, I will take  a few more deep breaths, and imagine the negative issues leaving my body. Then, fill my body with healing air, and surround myself with protective colors. Deep breathe, and good air  in….and bad air out. In…out. In…out. And, drink lots of water. And, most importantly, say my daily affirmation of “I am healed at the Quantum level”.

I will do this every day this week, or as long as I have those feelings.

So, please, everyone….here is to THIS being an amazing week, full of negative going out…..and positive coming in. for everyone!!!

Until next time (who knows…at this point, it may be tomorrow!)….