Yesterday, I had a reunion with some friends from my early 20’s. We all worked at a fastfood restaurant together, hung out and partied together, and played pranks on each other. Then, once we all left, “life” took over and we went our separate ways. Most of us are now married, have kids, big and small, 2-legged and 4-legged, have good jobs. SOME of us even have grown up names now (yes, that would be me-I went from Bissy to Jen after I left there.) As I was driving there to meet up with everyone, I wasn’t sure what to expect.

As soon as I got there, that “worry” went out the window. I turned right back into 21-yr old Bissy, reminiscing with the boys about our fun times, remembering all the people who lasted maybe a week or a month, talking about life challenges now. Wondering why we didn’t stay in touch all those years. But, our friendships seem to flow right back to where they were 25 years ago. It was great! Our lives may be completely different now, and maybe we are too. But, being together just felt good. It made me think of “me” back then.

That was before heartbreak. Before debt. Before kids. When for me, the worry was “what are my plans tonight?” and “crap, how am I getting to work in the morning” (no car). No worries of the world, of the future, of our kids’ future, of money. Life was so simple back then. I miss that fun and simplicity. For me, that was when I would make new friends at the drop of a hat. I was outgoing, friendly, trusting, happy and fun. I had over 20 friends I considered “family” at that age! I LOVE that girl I used to be. Yet, somehow, over the years, she has been pushed deep inside me. I have become more protective of me, my heart, my emotions. I have had many good friends move away and stop calling over the years. Each one took a little piece of my heart with them, until suddenly, I became protective over what was left. But, that is when I look around and realize I have not replaced the ones who left with new ones. It is not that I don’t have friends, just not ones like I did in my younger days.

Those were also the days before my discovery of my intuition. Yet, I look back and see just how much my gut feelings came into play. I didn’t even know what it was, but I used it every day. On friendships, on boys, on me. And I know it was always right, whether I believed it back then or not. It wasn’t for many years that I would realize the power it held. Yet, I do remember having my feelings of “just knowing”. I just didn’t know that they  were really “real”.

So, last night as I was relaxing at home, I realized that I really miss the young me, that she is still here inside of me, and that I want to rekindle that relationship with her. I want to trust that the new people coming into my life are not going to hurt me. I want to have fun and not worry about things I have no control over.  And, I want to be more in the now, not in the future. With people. Friends (old ones AND new ones). And, if they leave and move on, I will survive. After all, there is always facebook! (haha).

So, here’s to the kids inside of us who have been pushed to the back-burner, over the years. We all have an inner child that just wants to be friendly, have a good time, and live in the time of now. Try to give that kid some air once in a while, forget your worries, and just have fun. I know I will!

Until next time…..(and now, I’m going to play play play).