Wow, 2023 has been a year, and it is only 1/3 over! I have learned a LOT so far!

If you read my last blog written in December, you know the back story. If you haven’t read it, please do, and then this will make more sense.

I discovered last month that my new friend is actually my twin flame. A twin flame is, essentially, your other half. According to google, “A twin flame involves two people who share the same soul. Once these twin flames meet, this results in an intense, magnetic attraction and connection. These individuals share similar past experiences and trauma.” Twin flames are one of those things that either A) people don’t know about B) people don’t believe in or C) people understand because they have found theirs. There don’t seem to be too many of those. And they are the ones I need!

It was my coach that mentioned it to me first, that maybe my friend was my twin flame. We could feel each others emotions, which freaked both of us out. My voice made him feel calm, and he made me feel safe, but we barely knew eachother. We talked about how weird it was. The first time we had a serious conversation on the phone, I had so much adrenalin running through me that I shook for 10 minutes, it was crazy! We decided we had a sibling-like friendship, because, thankfully, there were no romantic love feelings for either of us, just sibling love. But it was stronger than that—when I had a vision that we were like siblings, I heard in my head “Wonder twin powers, ACTIVATE!”. So, because of that, we started calling ourselves the wonder twins. It was awesome! I was sure he would be in our lives forever.

Sadly, it only lasted until mid-March, when he up and disappeared. He started having alot of PTSD episodes from being in the marines for 20 years. I haven’t spoken to him since. Funny that the first thing I read about twin flames was they come in like a wrecking ball, cause chaos and then disappear. It’s a common thing! Crap! Man, that was true for BOTH of us!

When he left, it crushed me. My heart broke, missing my friend. My little inner 5 year-old child was really sad, as she had finally found a brother she had always wanted. And adult me was so worried and so sad. I tried to find him, probably looking like a fool to his friends who I found and texted. I didn’t even care. I just needed to know my friend was safe. This was at the time my coach brought up twin flames. I started doing a lot of reading about them, and got a deep feeling quickly that this is what we were to eachother, and why we had this incredibly strong and FAST connection. I learned as much as I could about it.

There is a Chaser and a Runner. Wasn’t hard to figure out who is what here. I feel like my eagerness chased him away, as I was too much to handle for him. Yes, I knew I was pretty intense. It was very strange for me. But he promised me I was never too much, that if he didn’t text or call back, it was HIM. It would NEVER be because of me. And now my brain says “Or WAS it???”. All I wanted to do was help him. And I did. Too much. Everything I did for him made him much happier, but with the happiness came having to deal with the PTSD episodes, and I full-on believe he wasn’t ready. So he ran. And by contacting friends and looking, I chased, without even realizing I was doing it.

Thankfully, something I read yesterday said if I stop chasing, and think about what issues of mine that this relationship has brought to light, and focus my energy not on HIM, but on healing my wounds, there is a good chance that he will stop feeling the energetic urge to run. See, the thing about twin flame relationships is, they are partially there to show yourself what YOU need to heal to be a better more powerful being. They aren’t always about romance. Your twin flame is a mirror of yourself.

One of the things I told my coach a month after meeting him was my heart felt whole for the first time. I couldnt understand that. I then healed a bunch of stuff I had been working on for 2 years because I felt safe for the first time (and I never even knew I DIDN’T feel safe!). My life got instantly better, and happier, as did I, which everyone noticed. So was he! Then when he crashed, so did I. Now, as he is gone, more things for me to heal come to light (like HUGE issues with abandonment), so I can become a better person. And now I find out these are all signs that this person is your twinflame. This is some CRAZY shit!

And with the runner and the chaser, this is something that can happen for many years, until both have done a lot of healing on themselves. I am not sure he will ever be ready to heal, so this may be it for us in this lifetime. Oh, did I mention that Twinflames are forever, not just THIS life? Maybe we are only meant to know each other in person for 6 months, and we will never meet again until we both leave our current bodies. The thing is, our humanness is only one aspect of it. We will now ALWAYS be connected spiritually. So, every night, I call his higher self into the Quantum Field, where anything can happen, and I talk to him. I tell him we are both here for him, and give him a big hug. I know this is all something he must go through in this life and work on for himself. Meeting us has shown him that he is worthy of having good friends who treat him in a respectful way, and has hopefully improved his self esteem, even a tiny bit.

For me, this is all way out there! That’s ME, who believes in Angels, and Fairies and Spirit, is freaked out by all this twinflame stuff! But, guys! I gotta tell you! It’s real! I have felt it from day one, as has he. Not everyone has a twin flame, so for those to find theirs is pretty miraculous. But it isn’t like a big thing to celebrate, it is hard work, heart-breaking and confusing! But, it is also pushing me, and him, to work on our issues and heal ourselves, so maybe we can meet again in the future.

Oh, and big shout out to my husband! He is the bomb, putting up with me through all this weird stuff, with another guy! He totally trusts him, thankfully, and has never doubted anything. That’s a relief! lol

And, I did just finally get news that he is ok. But I don’t think he wants to talk to me, so I am just focusing on leaving him alone now.

Ok, gotta cruise! Still have a lot of healing to do! Hope you guys have learned something from this! A great place I get alot of info is the website called Quora-people send in questions and get answers from others. Every night I get emails from posts on questions about twin flames, and that is where I have learned alot. It’s very interesting stuff, especially when I can relate to what people say!

Until next time…..

PS: I do realize in the last blog I said Chris was my twin flame. And you would think you could only have 1, since they say your twin flame is your other half. No one really knows if you can have more than 1. Some say you can have one romantic and one that is more as a friend. I decided I’m going with that! But it is for everyone to decide for themselves!!